Change

I hate change. Not the stuff that fills the bottom of your purse, the type where things become different. My family received a phone call yesterday that will make everything different. I don't like that. I don't have to, and you can't make me.

My dear Joe was laid off from the job he loves last December. Yes, it was the sterotypical  "laid off right before Christmas" thing. At the time, we knew it would take some adjustment, but I was still on Mat. leave and he would collect EI. We wouldn't starve and we could pay the mortgage. Besides, he would have the chance to spend more time with Ben who was only 7 months old at the time.

Eventually my Mat. leave ran out and we needed to make another adjustment. I wound up going back to work part time. Between that and EI, we could manage. At the time, it was the perfect solution. Finally Joe would understand what it's like to be a stay at home parent. HARD! Once I was back at work I joked with co-workers and customers that I had it easy, Joe had the tough job! But it's so true.

So, here we are in the middle of August. We're enjoying the summer. My shop is about be thrown into the chaos of "Back to School" and I'm a bit stressed about that, we're starting to think about what we're going to do before Joe's EI runs out....and the phone rings.

Long story short...Joe is offered a job with a different local of his union....in EDMONTON. They want his answer by 9am the next day and they want him to start Monday. The call came on a Wednesday. Are you fucking kidding me? All I can think at first is what about ME?!!! How am I going to do this without you? We've been together almost 20 years, we have a 16 month old baby and he's LEAVING????? I did NOT sign up for this.

And then I gave my head a shake. He is making a sacrifice for me. For me and our son. He gets nothing out of it besides the satisfaction of being able to support his family. I get to keep much of my normal life, in my home with my friends and family close by as his is turned upside down and he has to do it without us, in a new city.

In my head I know accepting the position is the right thing to do, and that we all make sacrifices for our families, but my heart is so sad that we won't all be together every day. I can rationalize it, but I don't have to like it.

xo
D.