I am just back from the Doctors office, I went to get test results on blood work for being tested for hemochromatosis. When a doctors office calls and says you need to come in.. it's never a good thing. Ang was sweet enough to drive me (we are a one car family and Darren was out today) and Ashley was kind enough to watch my kiddlets..
When I got in to see the Dr I received what I thought was great news, no hemochromatosis ... And then there was a but. I recently blogged about not recognizing myself in the mirror that somewhere along the way I got the wrinkles I thought I would never get.
I also used to (until 1:45 today) think diseases like liver damage were strictly for "old" people who had been drinking heavily for years. Guess I'm old. I have elevated liver enzymes... Could be caused by recent herbs I took or drinking. I am being re-tested in a few weeks to see where things are at after stopping herbs and drinking as much.
I know deep down the truth. I am not invincible. I am not taking care of my body like I should, I have not been properly appreciating the gift of my life. And the truth is I have been drinking for years, I am not an alcoholic (although I hear if I was I wouldn't admit it anyhow...but I am pretty confident that I am not) but I enjoy a few bevy's socially. (Problem is I am VERY social!)
All these years I felt that I was somehow blessed and that I was somehow invincible to disease, to aging, to health related death. Instead being cautious of tragedy and living with a certain fear, not jumping off bridges, being weary of dangerous situations, taking cabs if I didn't think the person driving was actually sober. I have played it safe in most situations.
Where I have failed is my health. I don't know why I have taken my health for granted for so many of my precious years here, my best guess is the invincible to disease feeling I have always had (until 3 hours ago). But it's time to change. It's my wake up call. This is it, this is my shot, it is my choice to live a long, happy, healthy life and I think those around me want the same thing.
Liver disease at 33? Yah.. that's not ok. Being on the obese side of the scale.. also not good. And both those things I am responsible for. No one put a gun to my head and said... drink this, eat that..
I'm awake. I'm listening. I get it. I was blessed to be born. I was blessed to be born in Canada. I was blessed to be born into a wonderful family. I was blessed when I met my husband. I was never so blessed as the day each of my children chose me to be their mom, I am blessed to have amazing friends. I owe it all the people in my life to take care of myself, to be healthy, to live long and well so I can enjoy them and they can enjoy me.
Until next time.. I will eat better, drink less, and love more.