Change

I hate change. Not the stuff that fills the bottom of your purse, the type where things become different. My family received a phone call yesterday that will make everything different. I don't like that. I don't have to, and you can't make me.

My dear Joe was laid off from the job he loves last December. Yes, it was the sterotypical  "laid off right before Christmas" thing. At the time, we knew it would take some adjustment, but I was still on Mat. leave and he would collect EI. We wouldn't starve and we could pay the mortgage. Besides, he would have the chance to spend more time with Ben who was only 7 months old at the time.

Eventually my Mat. leave ran out and we needed to make another adjustment. I wound up going back to work part time. Between that and EI, we could manage. At the time, it was the perfect solution. Finally Joe would understand what it's like to be a stay at home parent. HARD! Once I was back at work I joked with co-workers and customers that I had it easy, Joe had the tough job! But it's so true.

So, here we are in the middle of August. We're enjoying the summer. My shop is about be thrown into the chaos of "Back to School" and I'm a bit stressed about that, we're starting to think about what we're going to do before Joe's EI runs out....and the phone rings.

Long story short...Joe is offered a job with a different local of his union....in EDMONTON. They want his answer by 9am the next day and they want him to start Monday. The call came on a Wednesday. Are you fucking kidding me? All I can think at first is what about ME?!!! How am I going to do this without you? We've been together almost 20 years, we have a 16 month old baby and he's LEAVING????? I did NOT sign up for this.

And then I gave my head a shake. He is making a sacrifice for me. For me and our son. He gets nothing out of it besides the satisfaction of being able to support his family. I get to keep much of my normal life, in my home with my friends and family close by as his is turned upside down and he has to do it without us, in a new city.

In my head I know accepting the position is the right thing to do, and that we all make sacrifices for our families, but my heart is so sad that we won't all be together every day. I can rationalize it, but I don't have to like it.

xo
D.

It's not just wrinkles.. it's official.. I'm what I used to consider Old

I am just back from the Doctors office, I went to get test results on blood work for being tested for hemochromatosis. When a doctors office calls and says you need to come in.. it's never a good thing.  Ang was sweet enough to drive me (we are a one car family and Darren was out today) and Ashley was kind enough to watch my kiddlets..
When I got in to see the Dr I received what I thought was great news, no hemochromatosis ...   And then there was a but.  I recently blogged about not recognizing myself in the mirror that somewhere along the way I got the wrinkles I thought I would never get.
I also used to (until 1:45 today)  think diseases like liver damage were strictly for "old" people who had been drinking heavily for years. Guess I'm old. I have elevated liver enzymes... Could be caused by recent herbs I took or drinking.  I am being re-tested in a few weeks to see where things are at after stopping herbs and drinking as much.
I know deep down the truth. I am not invincible. I am not taking care of my body like I should, I have not been properly appreciating the gift of my life.  And the truth is I have been drinking for years, I am not an alcoholic (although I hear if I was I wouldn't admit it anyhow...but I am pretty confident that I am not) but I enjoy a few bevy's socially. (Problem is I am VERY social!)
All these years I felt that I was somehow blessed and that I was somehow invincible to disease, to aging, to health related death. Instead being cautious of tragedy and living with a certain fear, not jumping off bridges, being weary of dangerous situations, taking cabs if I didn't think the person driving was actually sober.  I have played it safe in most situations. 
Where I have failed is my health.  I don't know why I have taken my health for granted for so many of my precious years here, my best guess is the invincible to disease feeling I have always had (until 3 hours ago). But it's time to change.  It's my wake up call.  This is it, this is my shot, it is my choice to live a long, happy, healthy life and I think those around me want the same thing.

Liver disease at 33?  Yah.. that's not ok.  Being on the obese side of the scale.. also not good.  And both those things I am responsible for.  No one put a gun to my head and said... drink this, eat that.. 

I'm awake. I'm listening. I get it. I was blessed to be born.  I was blessed to be born in Canada.  I was blessed to be born into a wonderful family. I was blessed when I met my husband. I was never so blessed as the day each of my children chose me to be their mom, I am blessed to have amazing friends.  I owe it all the people in my life to take care of myself, to be healthy, to live long and well so I can enjoy them and they can enjoy me.

Until next time.. I will eat better, drink less, and love more.

Aly

At Last......

Yes, I am finally posting! I know, can you believe it...oh well, better late than never I guess.

A little about me and my family. My name is Angela, or Ang or "Angie..." and Mom. I have two beautiful girls, Naomi who is 14 and Miss Madelyn who is 6. This past year has been a little nutz, to say the least and things seem to be settling down to a manageable pace....I hope...till the next time I get a frantic call from camp 'cause one kid broke their arm or another has an infestation of lice. It's those moments, that make you wonder why you ever considered having children and I often thought I now know why tiger's eat their young. However, when you share a particular moment of profound love with your child, I often wonder, can this get any better?

After 7 years in a relationship and 2 years of marriage, I left my husband. I am now in the land of single parentdom and I really think I sometimes need a bigger paddle. My girls and I are adjusting to a life of, "it's Dad's night," "I have to work, so go watch cartoons," "what do you mean, you need $25 for the field trip that's tomorrow and what do you mean the permission's slips in your locker" moments.

I would not have my life any other way, I love the fact that I am discovering once again, who I am and who I want to be. Although my children may not understand, and may not for a very long time why I left their Dad, I just hope that by example they will grow to be strong, independent women, who can look in the mirror and truly love themselves for the freckles on their noses and the pigeon toed feet and the sparkle in their brown eyes. That is my wish.

I have also been a fortunate woman, over the last year, I have become friends with some of the best women I have ever met. Believe it or not, this August, me and the kids have lived in R-town for 7 years. We've always just "lived" here, and now, this is our home. Thank you Tracy, Aly, Ashley, Aeryon, Dana, Sue, Laura and Nickie for encouraging me to "come over," and thank you for being my friends.

Till next time....

Who is that in the mirror?

My family and I were just on our annual excursion to Vancouver Island, a little longer than normal (being your own boss does have it's advantages).... However, light of day in your rear view mirror does not.. Waiting for the ferry I got a good look at my skin, when the heck did I get old?
I remember being a teenager and hearing women talk of age marks, wrinkles, crows feet... thinking I would never get old.
I hate to alarm any teenagers reading this.. IT HAPPENED. I got a good look at a stranger in the mirror.
When I look at pictures of myself 7 years ago on the day I got married, not a line, not a mark.. perfect skin. So what has happened in the last 7 years to make these brown spots, these wrinkles, the dark circles? Marriage, careers, children.. Perhaps the year of smoking I stupidly took up again after my son was born? I'll blame the kids.. after all, I blame them for the stretch marks and jelly belly.. why not the wrinkles ;)

So I'm a little slow.....

The pressure has finally mounted to a point where I can no longer ignore it. I apparently have to write an effing blog before someone in this complex explodes.

I'll start by saying that this is one of the best things about meeting this crazy bunch of women. Not only do we have a lot of fun even if we're just hangin' and having coffee, I am finding myself being challenged to do things I wouldn't normally do. Blogging being one of those things. I'm not sure why it wouldn't have occured to me.... as a teenager I loved to write. Short stories, essays, and I had a diary I was quite devoted to. Funny how you can lose the things you love to do somewhere along the road to being a grown-up. Sometimes it takes a little shove to find it again. (Or some sarcastic texts in my case.)

I've lived here for 6 years and I'm quite convinced I would never have met any of these women if I hadn't had a baby. The only person I had ever seen before was Tracy, and that was only because she parks next to me! When she invited me to Mom's Group a couple weeks after Ben was born, I was hesitant to go for a number of reasons. Do I REALLY wanna hang out with my neighbours? What if I don't like them? What if I don't like their kids? Do I really need new friends? Am I going to be the oldest Mommy with the youngest baby? Well, I can honestly say that when I finally screwed up the courage to go (and could drag my ass and Ben's little bum out of bed before 10am) I like them, I like their kids, one can ALWAYS use new friends, and I don't even mind hosting. In fact in ensures I clean my house at least once a month. Most of all, I DO wanna hang out with them. The first year of being a Mommy would've been very different without them. Even though I am the oldest Mommy with the youngest baby, I felt like I fit in. The instance that solidified my initial decision to go, was when both Ben and I got a really bad flu when he was only 4 months old. I had been going to Mom's group for only about 5 weeks, but I knew that if I was in trouble and needed help I could quite literally yell out my door R-TOWN MOMMIES!!!! HEEEEELP! and chances were someone would come running, or at least yell back! You can't buy that kind of emotional security.

It's never easy to put yourself out there and make new friends. I like to think of myself as outgoing and laid-back enough to make friends fairly easily, until I realized how long it had been since I had made a new friend. Let alone a gaggle of new friends. - yes, I said gaggle. My warning to you all is this... I have had most of my closest friends for over 20 years. When I make friends, I love HARD and I will be loyal to you forever. You will never, EVER be rid of me.
Dana :)

I love being me with the friends I have

So more on the story of me........

I think I got what I wanted when we moved into a "townhouse" complex. Coming out of my comfort zone I decided that the best way to meet people would be to go to the "Mom's Goup" that was posted on the bulletin board in September of 2008. My son was 2 months old and it was perfect timing to go to something with other moms during the day. That day has and forever will be one of the best days of my life. Not because it was the first time I ever saw little girls trying to pee like little boys or because my Daughter was sooooo happy to have other little kids to finally play with but because it has grown into the best friendships I have ever had. Yes, I have a very few friends that have continued through the best years of my life but, this is different. These people don't judge the way other people judge. They make you come out of your shell. You know the one that you want to break free from but are too afraid to show who you truely are. I love that I can be me and not be afraid that they are going to sit there and give me stink eye or in their minds judge me and think "Who the heck does she think she is". Yes I can be complicated with all my opinions and stink eyes (there are many) but they accept that and make fun of it in a way that makes me feel loved rather than ridiculed. Could you ask for anything more. And the best part of it is they are all super close. When you need to a shoulder to cry on they are only a few doorsteps away. With all our different personalities we ALL COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER, and I LOVE IT. Too Deep? Sorry! Actually I am not sorry. It is who I am and I will not apologize for it! Thats right I will not. Thats because I don't have to. Anyway, I love my new friends and my old friends. One day I hope the 2 shall meet so that they can get to know ALL of me. The old and the new.

Till next time my peeps..........

T

well la dee da!

Hello computer... It's Ashley again. Just a usual Sat night with Ang Tracy Nisha and Ashley. Few pitchers of Margarita's in, with fresh Okanagan fruit. Somehow camel toe's got popular... go figure. Cranking some tunes and dancing to some oldies (sublime btw). Kids on Mayne with my hubby... Mommy's time to play? Can't think of a time (beside's with my click in early teen's) that I have found a group of girls to have so much fun with! Just to let you know... if it isn't a secret... My "mom's" group is the best! Nisha... YOUR IN!